


Hope and Boots

by Winchesterek



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:11:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchesterek/pseuds/Winchesterek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean thinks about his brother's soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope and Boots

The second that he saw his brother Dean had known that there was something wrong with him. The way Sam didn’t embrace him with the fierce need like he used to, the way that Sam didn’t burry his face into Dean’s neck when they hugged and most of all Dean could see how the light in his brothers eyes had died. There was a false fulfillment there and Dean just wished that he could have his brother back. His Sammy. And when Castiel confirmed Dean’s fears about Sam not being complete, his heart had shattered into a million different pieces.

Sam’s soul was still locked away in the cage with Michael and Lucifer beating and tearing at it due to their boredom and frustrations. His soul could be broken beyond repair and if they tried to put Sam’s soul back into his body, his brother may die in the process. Souls weren’t easy things. They make you feel. They make you love, hurt and regret – but most of all: they make us human. 

Without his soul, Sam was just another monster that looked and sounded like his brother. The memories were there but it wasn’t Sam. Sam without his soul was an empty, hollowed vessel waiting to be filled up again. Dean couldn’t take the chance that Lucifer might get out and fill Sam right up again. That Lucifer would take his prepared vessel because Sam’s soul wasn’t blocked his way. Without his soul, Dean thought that his brother might even say yes to Lucifer again if the logic behind the choice was sound. There would be no fear or conscience that would keep Sam from considering saying anything but yes. And the thought of losing Sam again, after having lost him so many times before was shattering.

Dean wouldn’t be able to do it this time. He wouldn’t be able to get back on his feet if he lost Sam one more time. Sam was the glue that held him together. Sam was his world and his whole life wrapped up into one. One person. One soul. His everything. And Sam didn’t feel at least one ounce of love for Dean without his soul. Not one. Dean knew that the only reason that Sam was still around was because he needed Dean. For hunting. And that more than anything sent a knife through Dean’s chest, leaving his lungs punctured and unable to breathe and most of all – his heart bleeding and becoming un-repairable. Sam’s. All Sam’s. Every broken piece of him belonged to his brother because Dean loved him with everything he was. 

Dean belonged to Sam. Sam belonged to Dean. That was the way it always had been and that was the reason that Dean wouldn’t give up on him, either. He knew that he’d fucked up in the past by not believing in Sam’s decisions (and who could blame him? Really. The decisions hadn’t been the best ones to date) but his love for his brother was something that would never waiver. It was the bond that made them both weak and indestructible and Dean wouldn’t have had it any other way.

They would get Sam’s soul back. Dean wouldn’t stop until they did, that was a promise and somewhere inside of himself believed. He had to believe that Sam wanted his soul back. He had to believe that his brother still loved him and wanted him and needed him. Because he needed all those things from Sam, too. Dean sighed and leaned back against his black beauty – his girl, his car. Other than Sam she was the only constant in Dean’s life and it was sitting in her leather seats with his hands caressing her wheel that gave him comfort. That gave him hope. If the Impala never failed to shelter his home – then maybe it would keep him and Sam together until he got his brother back. His Sammy. He had to hope because hope and his boots were the only things that he had left.


End file.
